Indefinite Feeling
Ren returned to the Nord Empire territory. Not brought, but Ren keeps saying that they followed on their own accord, and as for the former Church Country people, they were given land in the former Saint Miriam Kingdom territory, now the southern part of Nordbane, the new Nord Empire territory, to live in.
This decision was not made out of good intentions alone. By keeping them all in one place, it made it easier to monitor them. Not only that, but it was also meant to prevent the church's influence from spreading throughout the Nord Empire. The former church priests had followed Ren in adoration, but that alone would not be enough to gain Ren's trust. They needed to act in a way that would make him believe they were trustworthy.
They are about to take action immediately. It's not a move they thought of alone.
"......What's with the flag?"
Ren, who was watching the army about to depart, asked Prime Minister Lang.
"That is the flag used by the former Church Knights. They can't just leave the original military flag."
Knights of the former Church Knights are also participating in this departure. Prime Minister Lang explained to Ren that it was the flag used by their unit.
"So it's a cross... why do you use a cross? Isn't it the sign of the church?"
The military flag is a white background with a black cross. The Cross is a seal used by the Church of the Holy Heroes. Ren thinks that there is no point in changing it if they use it.
"They have changed the color. Also, I heard from Shizuku-dono that His Majesty's name contains the meaning of the cross."
"...The spelling is different"
"Yes?"
"Kreutz, my surname Breitkreutz, is different from Kreuz, which means cross."
If you put it in katakana, it's the same kreutz, but the spelling is different. Ren's name doesn't include the meaning of a cross.
"...Well, isn't it good? They already made it."
It doesn't matter what the actual meaning of Ren's name is. The important thing is the design of the flag, and it is known as one of the flags of the Nord Empire Army.
"…Are they trying to use the church’s influence?"
"I wish we could do it, but I know it won't be easy."
"......If the church ceases to exist, it will only lose its influence over the faithful. To take advantage of that, they would need an organization to build up a new object of faith and spread it. That's not going to happen."
It's no use trying to celebrate him as a savior. That's what Ren wants to say. If he could use it as a ploy, he would try, albeit reluctantly, but he thinks it is futile.
"I don't intend to build a new object of faith. By the time we get to it and can use it to move people, the fight will be over."
"That's right... Ah, I understand. That's why we're going into battle this time."
"Yes. It's a fight to save people who are suffering from bad government."
This time, the campaign is an invasion of another country under the guise of overthrowing the current regime in order to liberate those who suffer from oppression. In fact, the people of the North, who have heard about the good government of the Nord Empire, have sent what seems to be a request, but this is not the only reason for Ren to move. In annexing a country that is not only untrustworthy but also unavailable, he is using it as an excuse to wipe out the current royal family and the noble forces.
He has decided to deploy the former church knights in the battle. It is a just fight, as is typical of church knights. Even if it is hypocritical, if the people of the invaded country accept it as justice, then it will be a success.
"...It's good to destroy a country that we don't need, but it's a problem if we increase the territory too much."
This was a measure actively pursued by Prime Minister Lang and his subjects. This time he allowed it to be carried out, but rapid territorial expansion is not what Ren wants.
"I understand. This time it's a plan with the meaning of showing off. I hope this will stop the other northern countries from thinking anything strange."
"If they don't harden their feelings, it's okay if they feel strange."
There is no problem with weighing the Nord Empire and the Luine Kingdom on the balance. The Luine Kingdom is lost only when there is a country that is seriously doing it.
"I don't have that kind of guts. I want all countries to pledge their obedience to our country and then deceive the Luine Kingdom."
"Even if they pledge their obedience. I can't act on that with full trust."
Ren is not like Lang. He doesn't trust those oaths. If they are going to act with suspicion, he wants to be in a position where he doesn't have to worry about the other party. The experience he had during the Northern Alliance also had a considerable impact on him.
"...From here onwards"
"Which one will we fight, the Luine Kingdom or the Izrim Empire?"
"Yes. To be honest, I don't think I can make a decision that is absolutely right."
As the other two countries are wary of, if they make a mistake, they will be dealing with two countries at the same time. Even if it wasn't, it would end up being attacked when it was exhausted in the fight against the other. The Nord Empire also bears this risk.
"There is no absolute right. Which is better?"
"I can't even choose the [better] option."
Lang is not incompetent. Lang is thinking hard about the future policy, but she still can't come to a conclusion.
"Does war always produce winners and losers?"
"Eh?"
"Sometimes starting a war means you're already a loser."
"......Winning without fighting, right?"
"Heh. Is there such words in this world as well? That's true. There is no change in the conflict between the original world and this world... Is this world a little better? No, it's not."
Even though there is magic, its power is not comparable to the weapons of mass destruction in the original world. He thought it would be better because there would be fewer deaths, but he quickly reconsidered.
Killing is killing. The number of deaths does not change the evaluation.
"Your Majesty already has a plan for the future?"
Lang is depressed as she wonders if Ren already has a plan that she has not thought of.
"……No."
"No?"
"My goal is to destroy the world. It's not about winning a war. Yet, I'm letting more and more people live. Then, how can I say I've destroyed the world?"
"That's……"
Lang does not have an answer to Ren's question. Wipe out all the people who live in this world. She doesn't want to aim for such a thing.
Lang hopes that the continent will be united under Ren and that the people will live happily ever after.
"...Destroy the great powers. Many have already been destroyed. Not by me, but by the hands of the heroes."
It can be said that it was Ren who destroyed the United Kingdom of Mercenary, but it was the heroes who destroyed the Lemberg Empire, the Izrim Magic Kingdom, and the Partheon Kingdom.
"Kill all the heroes? But they are killing each other on their own."
It can't be said that the matter with Nishida in the Orthea Kingdom is completely irrelevant, but even so, it's not like Ren is involved in all of the conflicts.
"...This world is crumbling on its own."
"It's not like it's arbitrary."
The balance of power on the continent has changed. Many countries perished. It was definitely Ren who created the opportunity. As Ren said, Lang thinks that the situation is not moving on its own.
"...But no. Something's different."
"Your Majesty?"
The words were clearly not directed at her. Lang sensed that Ren's gaze was directed somewhere far away.
"I don't know what it is. I don't think this is what it means for the world to be destroyed the way I want it to be. Somehow, I think so."
"…Isn’t there no need to forcefully break it?"
Lang ventured to encourage him to abandon his goal of destroying the world. She felt this was the perfect opportunity to say.
"...I wonder if the meaning of destroy is different? Or..."
However, Lang's words did not reach Ren's ears. He is deep in thought.
Lang stares at Ren like that. Now she knew it was useless to speak. Rather than that, why did Ren fall into such thoughts? She was intrigued by it. Will Ren find the meaning of [destroy the world] someday? If so, what would it look like?
Why did Ren come to this world? Suddenly, Lang thought of that.
◇◇◇
The north side of the [Forest of No Entry] is called the [Forest of Confusion]. The name [Forest of Confusion] comes from the same source, even if it is called differently. The reason is that here and there in the forest, there are barriers set up by elves who live in hiding, and it is a dangerous forest for those who wander into it uninvited, never to be able to leave again. The different names are merely what the people living in the north and south of the forest call it.
Because it is such a place, people rarely enter. At best, only those who need to avoid being seen and who are capable of avoiding the threat of magical beasts come and go on the periphery of the forest. The exceptions are those who are aware of the dangers and are planning to capture the elves, and Ren and his companions, who are allowed to come and go freely by the elves, or more precisely, Luna forced them to allow them to do so.
Even if there is an invasion of humans who target the elves who live in hiding, the area is far safer than the human-dominated areas outside the forest. The forest is not only home to elves, but also to many demons.
Rin's base is also in the [Forest of Confusion].
"...Carmilla-sama. I brought you a meal."
"Good. Come in."
A voice came from outside the door. Rin responds. With Rin's permission, the door was opened. A beastkin woman came in with a tray of food.
"Thank you. I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused."
"No. It's not a hassle. We're just securing our own food."
"Even so, the amount will increase. Isn't it easy to hunt the beasts of this forest?"
Even if it is a safe place, it is only against the threat of humans. Even the magical beasts that live in the forest, and even ordinary beasts that are not magical beasts, are much more powerful than in other places. As a hunting ground, it is more dangerous.
"The increase is but a small amount. Don't worry about it. We will be more than happy to be of service to Carmilla-sama."
While talking to Rin, the woman glanced behind her. To the human woman there, Satoko.
The food she brought was only for Rin. Putting the meaning that it's not for her in the gaze.
"... Leave the food there. Thank you. Please pass on my thanks to others."
"No need for such concern, but...... thank you. I'm sure everyone will appreciate it."
"I'm the one who's happy, but..."
Rin stopped mid-sentence with a wry smile on her face. No matter what she said, she would only get an even more embarrassing response. That's what she thought.
"Well then, please excuse me."
The woman bows deeply and goes outside. When the door closed, Satoko opened her mouth.
"…What's this Carmilla-sama?"
The woman called Rin [Carmilla-sama]. Satoko asked why.
"My name in the vampire race. I am sometimes called Mila."
The name Rin is no longer a temporary name for her. The name given to her by Ren is her true name. That's how she feels.
"In other words, your real name?"
That feeling is not conveyed to Satoko.
"In the vampire race, I said."
"...What should I call you?"
"You don't have to call me anything."
"That's not how it works...... then, is it okay if I call you Rin-san?"
Satoko, for one thing, was trying to be careful.
"……Do as you please."
But being careful doesn't mean the other person won't be in a bad mood. Rin has an overtly uncomfortable look on her face.
"...I'll go with Carmilla-san."
"I say, you can do as you please."
"Then, Mila-san."
"…………"
Rin narrowed her eyes and stared at Satoko. She thought she was being made fun of.
"...Um, if you could, would you please decide?"
She has no intention of making fun of Rin. She sees Rin's sternness on her face, and she is upset.
"...Rin is fine. I really don't want to be called Carmilla."
"Why?"
Satoko doesn't know why she doesn't want to be called by her real name.
"Carmilla is a name passed down by women of the royal family of the Vampires. I have given up being a royalty. I do not deserve that name."
"......Then I suppose you could tell them to stop calling you Carmilla-sama."
If you don't like it, just tell the people around you. That's what Satoko thought.
"It's too early"
"Early? Is it just a matter of time?"
"Rin is the name Ren-sama gave me. Not a few people still find that offensive. Even though Ren-sama is different from other heroes, words alone are......"
The demons here are people who lived outside the Nord Empire. For those people, Ren is one of the heroes, and a charlatan who deceives their companions in the Nord. That's what they were taught by the late Demon King, Rin's older brother.
No matter how much Rin explains that this is not the case, people who have never actually come into contact with Ren often do not understand it. Even those who approve of Ren, it's just because Rin says so much.
"......Why did you leave Ren and stay here?"
Why are you working with people who have such feelings for Ren? That was strange to Satoko.
"Are you well enough to care about such things?"
Until she reached this place, Satoko was almost an empty shell. At first, Rin had thought of leaving her alone, but when she saw how she looked, she had second thoughts and brought her here.
"...When people are in a state where they can't do anything by themselves, it seems that their minds become paralyzed."
Even when she was in captivity, her mind was paralyzed. The moment she thought she was saved, she realized again what had happened to her, and her heart was crumpled by emotions that she could not express in words.
It was like being in an accident. Best to forget it. She tried every calming method she could think of, but her emotions wouldn't allow it. Her heart was sometimes frozen, sometimes burned by a scorching fire, and sometimes torn to shreds by a sharp blade.
Yet, Satoko is still alive. If she had been left there, she has no doubt that she would have died in despair, but in reality, Satoko is alive, as she is now, accompanied by Rin. Seeing the food placed in front of her, she can think that she is hungry.
"...I'll tell you why I left Ren-sama. In exchange, can I ask you one thing?"
"What is it?"
"Can you understand Ren-sama's feelings? Just like Kazuki-dono used to understand."
The reason why Rin feels that no matter how much time she spends with Ren, she can't compete with Kazuki is because she is able to share her feelings with Ren. Since she can't understand her thoughts, she shouldn't even know if they were shared, but Rin thinks they were.
"Well... it's not Ren's feelings, but I thought I could understand Kazuki's feelings."
"So?"
"Not completely. I think I understand a little of the feeling of resignation that Kazuki sometimes showed. But even after what happened to me, I don't think I could throw myself away for someone else."
Giving your body to a man you don't like. Satoko has already had that experience, but if she were asked to do it again for another person, she does not think she could do it. She doesn't understand how Kazuki could do that.
"...Ren-sama doesn't have any feelings of giving up. It's not like that."
Ren is the one who denies the world he lives in and still lives in that world. A feeling of despair that Satoko knew. Rin thought that Ren's thoughts lie beyond that.
"I did answer, in case you were wondering."
"Ah, that's right. The reason I left Ren-sama because I'm no longer satisfied with myself just being by his side. I was worried about what I could do for Ren-sama."
"...Just being by his side. Don't let those words stick in your mind."
So does she. She's just on Jin's side. Although she asked Jin for something, did she ever give him something? Satoko knew that he couldn't say that she was useful to Jin with confidence.
"...Why did you leave him?"
"I want to say the same thing, but it's different. In my case, I realized that Jin didn't need me. No, I was aware of it. I just couldn't pretend anymore that I didn't."
"Didn't you still want to be by his side?"
Nor did Rin have the confidence that Ren needed her. Still, she wanted to be by his side. Even if she leaves like this, even if Ren forgets her because of it, she intends to return to Ren someday.
"...I'm Kazuki's substitute for Jin. Even if he doesn't love me, I want him to see me for who I am."
"Is he such a stupid man?"
Rin thinks that Jin has a serious personality, for better or worse. She didn't think that Jin could do what Satoko said.
"He is clumsy. But being clumsy doesn't necessarily mean you are sincere. It's not the same as being unable to say no and being able to accept it, but there is a difference."
"...I feel like I understand."
"I never thought the day would come when I would talk to Rin-san about this. You never know what life will bring."
Slightly different tone than usual. From Satoko's smile, Rin could only sense sorrow.
"...If you want to go back, I think I can help you."
"Thank you. But I can't give you an answer to that right now. I don't know myself if I want to see him again, or if I never want to see him again."
"I see……"
How would Jin react if they met? Of course, there is no need to tell the truth. But without knowing the facts, will Jin be able to heal Satoko's heart? Even Rin, who is not Jin, feels uneasy just by thinking about it a little.
It's cruel to ask Satoko for an answer now. She still needs time. That's what Rin thought.
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