Chapter 46: Determination
Ren visited the monastery three days later as promised to the children.
This time from the main gate. When he told the gatekeeper who was in the waiting hut beside the main gate about his business, he let him in easily. It was easy to get in, though.
(...I guess it's a very welcoming place?)
Even though there were hardly any people in sight, he could feel a lot of stares from the people around him. Without even pretending to feel it, Ren stood in front of the main gate, waiting for a pickup to come.
The arrival eventually came.
"Oh, you've come well."
"...Thanks for picking me up."
It was one of the orphan boys he had played with the last time.
"This way."
"Oh. Where's Kazuki?"
"She's busy."
"I see."
The child led the way around the monastery building, and he saw Kazuki walking left and right, holding a child in both arms.
"What is Kazuki doing?"
"Getting ready for the daytime nap."
"That?"
Children running around laughing, and Kazuki chasing after them. It looks like they are playing tag.
"Hey! It's nap time! Go back to the room!"
"Kyaa~! Run away!"
"It's not a game of tag, it's nap time!"
"Kyaa, kyaa"
"Mou! Don't run away!"
The more angry Kazuki gets, the more the children seemed to be enjoying.
"That's tough."
"Ren!"
"Oh, it's Ren" "Ren came!" "Let's play! Ren!"
The children who noticed Ren stopped running around and gathered around him.
"Let's play!"
"Oh, but I'm a little sleepy. Can we play after I nap?"
"Then I'll take a nap too!" "Ah, me too!" "Me too, me too!"
"Then, shall we sleep together?"
"""Let's sleep~!"""
When Ren turned his attention to her, Kazuki hurriedly led him to the place where they are going to take a nap. It is a detached building right next to the garden. Inside, there are several small futons lined up, and some children are already napping.
Ren lies down on one of those futons, and the children who followed him crowd around him.
After a few moments of silence, the children fell asleep.
After confirming that everyone had fallen asleep, Ren slowly stood up. A little ahead of him, he saw Kazuki lying down with a child in her arms, so he approached her.
(Huh? Why are you sleeping too?)
Seeing Kazuki sleeping quietly, Ren is taken aback.
(…Ah, it is okay. I didn’t come here to see this woman.)
Thinking back on that, he ponders how to pass the time until the nap is over. The conclusion came quickly. The only thing Ren could do in his free time was to train or study. If he couldn't study, the only thing left was to train.
He went outside, but the space was not suitable for intense training. He had no choice but to repeat muscle training such as push-ups and sit-ups.
Ren was quietly doing muscle training for a while when he suddenly felt a presence and stopped moving.
The owner of the presence was Kazuki. When he stood up, Kazuki was sitting on the ground, staring at Ren.
Knowing that Ren noticed, she opened her mouth.
“Did you come here to train?”
"Because you're sleeping, right?"
"Ah, I'm sorry."
"No, no. I don't care about it."
"Right."
Kazuki's smile does not disappear even if he says cold lines. The words are cold, but somehow it feels like a child sulking. It was one of Ren's true faces that she had a glimpse of last time.
"Are you tired?"
"It's tough dealing with children."
"You do it because you like it, right?"
"Well, it's fun. But the kids don't listen to what I say. Ren is amazing. To make them sleep so easily."
From Kazuki's point of view, Ren is really good at handling children and is enviable. It makes her wonder if he has the talent of a nursery teacher.
"It just happened to work out. Even Kazuki can do it."
"Do you have any tricks?"
"Not really a trick at all, all I did was reassure them."
"Reassure them?"
“If you told them to sleep, they would be worried that I might go somewhere while they were sleeping. If they sleep with me, I can reassure them that I won't go anywhere. That's all there is to it."
“…Is that from Ren’s experience?”
Kazuki knows. If Ren is good at handling children, it's not because of his talent, but because of his experience.
“There was a time when I was afraid of when I would be thrown out.”
"I see."
"Don't feel sorry for me. That was a long time ago."
It sounds like he's sulking again. She doesn't know the reason, but Kazuki felt that she was definitely getting closer to Ren.
“If Ren wants it, can I always stay by your side?”
"It's a little late for that, don't you think? It would make more sense to do that for the children."
"Yes..."
Inwardly, Kazuki was quite surprised. Ren's answer was a refusal, but not a rejection.
“I thought the last time I came here, but are you taking care of them by yourself, Kazuki?”
"Yes"
"What was the situation before Kazuki came?"
"Of course, there was someone else. I took over from that person."
"How did you manage to work there?"
The monastery is a church facility. Ren thought that it was a special case that she was allowed to do a job different from the blessing she received because she was a hero candidate.
“At first, they refused. But after I asked many times, it seems that my enthusiasm was understood."
"I see. Good for you."
"……Thank you"
When Ren becomes this friendly to her, Kazuki's mind is in turmoil. Her face naturally turned red.
"What's up?"
“Because Ren is being so nice to me.”
"Huh?"
"You seem like a different person."
"...Am I, being weird?"
"I don't think so!"
Kazuki denied it in a panic. Even if it's strange, Kazuki likes the current Ren.
"Then what?"
"Are you happy with the way things are?"
As if probing a little, Kazuki told him how she felt. She did not know how Ren would react.
"I don't know."
"It would be nice if you could just act normal"
She doesn't need to find out. Kazuki was happy to be able to have a normal conversation with Ren like this.
"I've always been normal."
"So, then."
Kazuki found that Ren did not seem to have any special awareness. If so, even better.
"Hey, can I ask you something strange?"
"What?"
"There's that thing here."
"That thing?"
This is a question that comes out of the blue, and Kazuki has no idea what he's talking about.
"Yes, that thing."
"...What is that thing?"
"The Saint"
It was about Shizuru. Knowing this, Kazuki also understood why Ren had used the term " that thing".
"Did you perhaps worry about me?"
“No way. If I cared, I wouldn't be asking this."
"...That's true. I guess."
The possibility arose that Ren might just not like to call her by name. There was no need to pursue that, so Kazuki moved on with the conversation.
"Did you not meet her?"
“No. And I wouldn't mind meeting her."
"I see……"
Ren's face was not happy. Seeing this expression, Kazuki's heart made a small thumping sound.
"...Hey, did you perhaps worry about me?"
Fearfully, she tried again to see how Ren feels.
"Not really"
"Did you worry about me? Ren worried about people. Heh, I see."
Kazuki teases Ren, who answers bluntly. Because if she doesn't, she's about to cry.
“I'm not. I just wondered if you knew that she was here."
"Did you know about her evil intentions?"
"Know?"
"Because I knew that it made me want to die. The moment I saw her face, it hit me."
How can people do such terrible things? How could she be so hated? Kazuki's mind was dominated by these thoughts, and she lost the will to live.
"I see. I'm surprised you didn't die."
"Ah, that reminded me. I also wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
“When I looked down to jump, I felt as if Ren was watching me. It was pitch black, but I thought I could see Ren's eyes clearly. That gave me pause. Of course, Ren's mistress convinced me not to do it."
"…………"
"What is that?"
"I don't know. Are you imagining it?"
"I see. But thank you."
"No. Kazuki decided to live on your own."
"Yes. I decided to live on my own without relying on others or blaming others."
"I see……"
For some reason, Ren's face clouded when he heard Kazuki's determination. Kazuki also noticed the change in his expression.
"Am I wrong?"
"No, you're not. I have one thing to say to you."
"What?"
"If you're taking care of the orphans half-heartedly, you should leave this place right now."
Ren told Kazuki with a stern look. Then Kazuki answers without averting her gaze.
"I don't intend to do that. I am here with the intention of giving my all to the children."
"Even if it means giving up your life because of someone else?"
"...I don't know. But if it is for the children, I accept it."
For Ren to say this, there must be something to it. Even though she knew this, Kazuki said this.
"...I understand. Then I won't say anything."
Perhaps sensing Kazuki's determination, Ren's gaze loosened.
"Is there something here?"
"I can't tell you the details."
"I see……"
"I've been thinking about how to end it since the last time I was here. But I can't think of a good way. I'm betting that over time, things will start to move without me doing anything."
"…………"
"Please tell the Director. Think about how to end it."
"……I understand."
Without another word, Ren returned to his muscle training, and soon the kids were up and begging to play. After a long day of playing with them, Ren left when they were exhausted.
The next appointment is three days. Kazuki was surprised to see that Ren had people he couldn't say no to.
◇◇◇
While Ren was at the monastery, a visitor, who rarely appears, was visiting Babaa's house. For Babaa, it was an unwanted visitor.
“This is not a resting place. Why don't you just finish visiting the graves and go home?"
"You're still a foul-mouthed old lady. Don't you know how to be polite to guests?"
"You too. What happened to your usual beautiful tone? Did you forget your elegant tone suitable for the Director because of your age?"
The visitor is the Director of the monastery.
"I don't need you to tell me how old I am."
"That's my line. You have no right to be calling an old woman, an old woman."
"The old woman is right. It's a short road ahead, don't you think?"
"...Who told you such a thing?"
Babaa's expression turned doubtful at the Director's words.
"Your disciple."
"Have you met him!?"
The eyes that had been narrowed now widened.
"Three days ago. I believe he is there today."
“You're talking nonsense. I guess it can't be helped. He can't lie."
"Can't lie?"
"It's not like he has any restrictions. He's just disciplined. He just doesn't want to end up like an ugly person."
"I see... so you really want to die?"
One of the reasons the Director came here is to tell her this.
"It's about time, isn't it? Even if I deny it, it's true that I'm an old woman."
"What are you doing that you're martyring yourself to your daughter? That's... an event in the past."
"Not to me. You can't see it, but my daughter is still next to me."
Her deceased daughter is still by her side, and she can communicate with her. Is this a good thing or a bad thing for Babaa? At the very least, time has definitely stopped at some point.
"You still hold a grudge, don't you?"
"There's no way I wouldn't hold a grudge. My daughter was killed by the church."
"Not by the church, but by a man who happened to work for the church."
"So what happened to the man? Instead of being punished, he rose to the rank of Cardinal. It was Bishop Bedor who tricked her into giving up my daughter to the Beast. The man who offered her to him was one of the cardinals of the time. The whole Church is guilty."
The misfortune that befell Babaa's daughter. Babaa had always resented the Church.
“There is no evidence. You can't charge someone if it is a suicide."
"That's how it started! ......Enough of this story already. I don't want my daughter to hear about the pain I'm going through until after I'm dead."
"……I understand."
"Is this what you want to talk about? Then it's useless. I have no regrets in this world anymore. I'm done."
"Done?"
"My hated enemy is dead. The revenge I thought would never come true is over."
She held a grudge against the person who killed her daughter, and thought of revenge, even though she knew it would not come true, so she got a job as a grave keeper. However, the revenge came to fruition in an unexpected way.
"No way?"
"I didn't kill him."
“…It is true, isn't it, that he was murdered?”
The Director knows of course that Cardinal Pedro is dead. She suddenly heard that he was dead.
"Was it sudden? He must have died anyway."
Babaa denied the Director's question.
"In other words, he might be in heaven. Are you going to blame it for rushing to your death?"
"He's not in heaven. He perished."
"So you can rest assured that your daughter and yourself can ascend to heaven?"
"Yes, that's right."
"...Is that so? So it's your disciple who did this. I hear he has quite a spiritual power."
How can she say that he perished? After all, the Director understood that Cardinal Pedro had been killed. And that Ren is involved.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb. I'm not accusing him of anything."
"So what are you talking about?"
"Forget it. I came here because I wanted to listen to that disciple's story."
This is another reason why the Director asked Babaa.
"What about the kid?"
"Who is he?"
"I don't know."
"...Enemy or ally?"
"Is that for you people?"
Babaa, who hears this, knows the true nature of the monastery. She knew and she didn't tell anyone.
"That's right."
"Neither"
"What?"
"The kid is just doing what he has to do. He is not doing something because he wants to do it. He has no friend or foe. If I had to choose, I'd say all are his enemies.
"……I see."
It occurred to the Director that they had done something wrong. She doesn't know what that is.
"It seems you're making enemies head-on. Stupid."
"I didn't do it because I wanted to."
"So what's the situation?"
"I'm pretty much cornered. My identity is probably exposed."
“…Didn’t you meet three days ago?”
So why did the Director come here? Babaa wondered.
"Yes. I think he was convinced at that time. I was going to probe, but I went too far."
"So the kid is at the monastery again today?"
"He made a promise to the orphans. He had kept his promise if he's not here."
"Then he is not a complete enemy. If the kid wanted to take action, you wouldn't be here."
Babaa thinks that Ren isn't the type to leave dangerous enemies alone. The fact that the Director is here means that Ren thought they are not an enemy that should be erased without question.
"……I see."
"You should stop now."
"Impossible. I can't stop it anymore."
"Even though you're just heading towards the end?"
The Director said she was cornered. Knowing that, Babaa still can't understand the feeling of trying to push forward.
"Maybe we want it to end. In the end, we can't change the world. It's that kind of despair that seems to be driving everyone these days."
"It's just getting started"
"It's been too long."
"...It became stupid. It's your fault."
It is the role of the head of the organization to stop the organization from running amok. The Director is not able to do that.
"That's right. I couldn't do it. So I thought, How about him?"
"Impossible"
Babaa denied it without a moment's pause.
"But he has similar ideas to the Savior."
"I don't know. But if he does, he doesn't act on them."
"Why?"
"As I said earlier, the kid won't do what he wants. Perhaps he's not really trying to live."
Ren said he was alive because he doesn't want to die. The Director also heard this.
"...It could be worth living for."
"No. The kid has a fatal weakness."
"What?"
"Keep people away. I also highly value his individual strength. But he cannot do it alone. It is necessary to gather the power of many people. Will he work for the sake of someone he hates?"
There is no way that Ren, who hates people, would want to stand above people.
"Is it no good?"
"If there had been an opportunity to make that kid feel that way, it would be after his arrival in this world. But that kid had learned that the human race of this world was also a filthy creature."
"What did he know?"
"Probably everything. What is a hero? How many people have sacrificed for it? What is the church trying to do, and what do the countries want? That they are but slaves."
"...Have you told him?"
The truth about the heroes. Talking about this is a taboo that could even get you killed.
"Not me. The kid can communicate with spirits far better than I can. And there are many spirits in the cemetery and in the church."
"...Is that so? So he has access to a lot of information."
It's not just the cemetery and the church. Spirits are also in other places. If he can get information that spirits know, that ordinary people can't see and aren't even aware of, then it's no wonder she's being cornered.
“And he has the ability to sort it out in his brilliant mind and draw conclusions. He was the last person you would want to make an enemy of."
"That's his biggest secret. Why did you tell me that?"
“You should have understood from what I just said. You're done. The rest should end as neatly as possible."
"……I know."
Finish things. The Director had already made up her mind. Her visit to Babaa's house was also meant to be her last goodbye.
She can't say they're on good terms. Even so, the only person with whom the current Director could speak honestly was Babaa.
The same is true for Babaa.
◇◇◇
There is always an atmosphere of no-ness in the meeting place. Everyone's faces were contorted in surprise when they heard these apparently unbelievable words.
"...Seriously, seriously, are you saying that?"
The vice leader asked, as if trying to squeeze the question out of her.
"Of course I'm serious. I'm ending my activities as an Anti-Hero Alliance."
The Director replied simply.
"We're just getting started"
"It's just getting started, and things are about to get exposed. We've failed."
"But... at last, the saint appeared."
For all their resentment toward the heroes, the saint was the only exception. The saint and the beings that were supposed to appear near her were the ones they had to rely on.
"If that's the case, we shouldn't have moved. Even now, I'm still thinking about it."
"Why is that?"
"If the saint's compassion is real, even wars should be stopped. She should be able to save many weak people. While we expect the saint, we don't expect her power. We are in a contradiction."
"...Then from now on."
Another option is to wait until then. The vice leader thinks about this.
"If only it were real. But I don't think so."
"However, the title is certainly that of a saint."
"Titles are given to those who are worthy of them. Don't you think it is strange that the title comes first?"
Doubts about the titles of the Hero Candidates. The Director felt it too.
"That's denying the hero's way of being......"
"It's our actions that deny the heroes. Now, I do not want to talk to you guys in order to debunk your objections. I want to talk to ask for a decision."
"Yes"
The Director's feelings haven't changed. Now it's time for each of them to make up their minds.
"People here will probably die. Only with our death will there be a way for others to live. The Anti-Hero Alliance is all about the dead. You know what I mean?"
"Yes"
The Anti-Hero Alliance is not the only one here. The Director is trying to keep the non-monastery members alive.
"If any of you wish to escape, disappear without my notice."
"There is no such person."
"I will not confirm that. Perhaps there is not much time left. Be prepared for that."
"And you do not know when that will be?"
"I don't know for sure. I'm going to leave it to someone with the title of saint to draw the curtain."
"What is it?"
"I don't want to tell everyone, but I want to make my final intention clear. I think she is the best person to create that opportunity."
"……I understand"
On this day, the monastery decided to go to perdition. Without knowing the tragedy that would ensue.
No comments:
Post a Comment