Chapter 73: Continuation, Two People in Trouble
It is extremely difficult to understand Ren as a person. To those who don't know him well, he ends up being just an unsympathetic man. As you get to know him a little, you will be surprised by his duality. But as you get to know him better, you realize that there is more to him than just duality.
What is this complexity? The answer is not easy to find. The same is true for Rin and Shizuru, who have made progress in their relationship with Ren. If anyone knows the answer, it is only one person.
"You just barged in and now you're asking for more?"
Luna is giving a dissatisfied look to Shizuru who visited them. Luna feels that all the requests from people other than Ren are nothing but a nuisance to her.
"I didn't come here to barge in, I came here to ask a favor."
"…What do you want to know about Ren?"
If there's anyone who truly understands Ren, it's Luna. With that in mind, Shizuru came to see Luna.
"Many things."
"Then I don't know."
"Then, for the time being, I have a common question with Rin-san."
"Common..."
Rin, who suddenly got involved, let out a mutter. But that's all. Rin also has many questions she wants to ask about Ren. If Shizuru is willing to ask even one of them, she has no complaints.
"Why is Ren's attitude toward me so different from Rin-san?"
"I wouldn't call that common. You just want to know why he's cold to you."
"No. It's not just the attitude, the treatment, the behavior."
Shizuru's question is certainly common to Rin. She tried to gather her courage, but she couldn't ask Ren herself clearly. How would Luna answer this question? Rin is curious to know how Luna will answer this question.
"That's because Ren is broken."
"Broken... what do you mean by broken?"
Shizuru didn't understand the meaning of Luna's answer at all. The same goes for Rin.
"...That's a difficult question."
"Don't you know, Luna-chan?"
"It's hard to explain."
"Do something about that."
"...Hmm. Ren hates humans. But he's indifferent to individual humans."
After thinking for a moment, Luna spoke these words.
"...I don't understand."
Still, Shizuru couldn't understand it.
"What is that attitude when you ask someone? Think carefully."
"Even if you say so... Rin-san is not human."
She was told to think about it, so she just forced herself to say it, and even Shizuru doesn't think it was right. But what about Luna's reaction?
"Too bad."
"Eh?"
"I'll change the way I say it. He doesn't like humans, but he's indifferent to A-san of the human race. But he talks to B-san, who is a human being."
"That's normal."
Shizuru could only understand what Luna was saying, that likes and dislikes are feelings that everyone has. This is not only Shizuru's fault. There is also the reason that Luna is not good at communicating using only words.
"...You are an idiot"
However, Luna does not have the slightest awareness of it.
"That’s terrible. I was a high school student and got good grades."
"Grades... ah, to evaluate useless things in a meaningless way."
"If you say so..."
How useful was what you learned at school when you came to this world? Considering that, Shizuru couldn't object.
"Why do you think Luna bothered to mention humans in my explanation? That's because being a human doesn't mean anything."
"...It's difficult."
"You're really stupid"
"I don't care if I'm stupid, just explain it to me more clearly."
"...Then I'll explain. If you don't understand this, I won't explain anymore."
"Yes"
"Ren holds you, but not Rin. It's not that Ren has experience with women, it's that he has experience with you. And no experience with Rin."
"Wait a minute. I'll think about it..."
Shizuru couldn't understand the meaning of the last explanation. Shizuru panicked and began to think. Beside her, Rin let out a small voice.
"Ah, no way?"
"Eh? Did you understand, Rin-san!?"
"That's... Ren-sama doesn't see you and I as women?"
"Such an idiot――"
"Correct answer"
"No way!?"
Shizuru was surprised at the correct answer. Luna said it was the correct answer, but Shizuru didn't think it was the answer to her own question.
"Ren doesn’t get used to it just because he’s holding a woman. When he faces another woman, it is as if it is his first time. It's a little different, but to put it plainly, it's this way."
"……Why?"
Make it easy to understand from the beginning. Swallowing those words, Shizuru turned them into questions.
"Ren doesn't have the idea of attributes. Female A-san, not human A-san, A-san is A-san. Even if he knows she's a woman, he can't recognize it."
"Why?"
"That's why I said it first. Ren is broken."
"So why is he broken!?"
Even if she understands the meaning of Luna's explanation, she can't understand it. Shizuru felt like there was an insurmountable chasm between herself and Ren and let out a loud cry.
"...Too loud."
"Because that's abnormal. It's not normal."
"That's what it means to be broken."
It's broken, so it's obvious that it's not normal. Luna couldn't understand Shizuru who said that again.
"... Luna-chan, do you know the reason why it broke?"
"Roughly"
"Tell me."
"Why?"
"I want to think about what I can do."
"Hmm..."
Luna shows the gesture of thinking. She hesitates to speak on her own when Ren is not around. But Luna doesn't think it's good as it is. She is trying to bring Rin and Shizuru closer to Ren in order to do something about it.
"Please"
"...I understand. It's too much to tell you everything. So I'll just give you the gist of it."
"Thank you"
"Ren has been on good terms with spirits since he was little, and his parents were afraid of that."
"Yes"
Luna started talking about when Ren was a child. Even Shizuru had know this. She knows a little about the abnormal environment surrounding Ren when he was young.
"Exorcism, his parents performed such rituals one after another and erased Ren's friends in front of him."
"……Friends?"
"For Ren, spirits are friends who are always close by and are there for him. Ren's friends were being erased in front of his eyes one after another. Ren resented it and feared it."
"I see."
Spirits are friends to Ren. Shizuru also vaguely understands this, as she has seen the scene where Ren and the spirit are in contact.
"What do you mean by feared it?"
Unlike Shizuru, who seemed convinced, Rin was concerned about Luna's last words.
"As expected of Rin. Yes, this fear is important."
"That is?"
"Compared to Rin, you only listen."
"It's fine, just tell me."
"...Ren was afraid. That one day he too would be erased in the same way. So Ren launched a counterattack."
Luna began to explain, her cheeks puffing out in dissatisfaction at Shizuru's words.
"Counterattack?"
"He went to erase the spirit medium who came to erase his friend."
"Is that possible?"
It's a story in the original world. Shizuru was surprised to learn that Ren had such a special power.
"He can't erase a living person. Even so, the medium spurted blood from all over his body and fell down."
If you ask Ren what he did, you won't get an answer. Little Ren was just imitating what the medium had done to his friend.
"Did he die?"
"It's not in Ren's memory. What's in Ren's memory is that the worries about him disappeared from his parents' hearts, and fear took over."
"…So his mother committed suicide?"
"It's not necessarily a suicide. She may have just tried to erase Ren."
"…………"
Shizuru understood exactly what Luna said about this. In his heart, he could still feel his mother's love to die together. But Luna denied that mother's love.
"Because she is his mother, she is an ally. Such a concept disappeared from Ren. His mother killed his father when he tried to stop her from killing Ren. They were an ally because they were husband and wife. That concept has also disappeared from Ren's mind."
"…………"
"After that, various things happened. The relatives who took in Ren treated him as a nuisance and even abused him in the end. They spent the fortune Ren's parents left him to have a good time."
"Terrible……"
"The concept of being an ally because they are relatives had disappeared. At school, Ren, who is a half and has become an orphan, is bullied even more violently by his classmates. The concept of being a classmate has disappeared."
"…………"
Ren's past that even Shizuru knows. She couldn't do anything. She regretted it. It's her past memory.
"In this way, one by one, those concepts disappeared. And finally, Ren erased all recognition of all affiliations. Ren chose to break himself."
"W-why...?"
The words that Shizuru barely managed to squeeze out were also a question.
"This is Luna's imagination, not Ren's thoughts. Ren has also erased the reason why he did it."
"That's fine. Tell me."
"If you expect others to do things for you, you will get hurt. If you erase all expectations, you will not be hurt. More to the point, if you live in your own world, unaware of others, there will be no one to hurt you."
"I see……"
Ren's darkness is deeper than she thought. Shizuru was able to hear what she wanted to know, but it ended up giving her depression instead of joy.
"What can you do to Ren?"
"I……"
She can't come up with anything. Rin was also there. Even if she comes up with something, she can't say it lightly.
"Then I will tell you."
"There is?"
"Why is Luna trying to create a harem? This is the main reason."
"...Harem?"
"It's to remind Ren that women are good. You have to remind him of the good things that are good, the perceptions that he has erased with the bad things. If he acknowledges one thing, it may help Ren to fix it."
Reviving the concept of women that Ren has erased for good. By reminding him that he doesn't have to erase it, he will be able to return to normalcy. That was Luna's plan.
"For that reason..."
"Your role is to give pleasure to Ren."
"...In the end, it came to that."
Shizuru's role as a comforter remains the same.
"And Rin too."
"Me!?"
"It's only when he's dealing with multiple women that the notion that women are good comes into being."
Make Ren see Shizuru and Rin as females. Luna thinks this is necessary.
"I understand that. But Ren-sama..."
"Well, Rin also has a big part to play in teaching him to love."
"What about me!?"
Shizuru thought that she should play that role as well.
"You are pleasure."
"...That's terrible."
"Phew... the hole left by Kazuki is still big after all. Kazuki taught both love and pleasure to Ren."
""…………""
The existence of Kazuki, even though she is already gone, stimulates a sense of inferiority in both of them. Knowing this, and knowing it, Luna has mentioned Kazuki's name here.
Luna, whose top priority is Ren in all matters, has no reservations toward the two of them. She says something that further provokes the two of them.
"We need another person to take care of Ren. The possibility is..."
Luna murmurs disturbing words to the two of them.
"Then, me"
"Mii-chan!"
There was someone who ran for it. Mii, an orphan of the monastery. The young Mii raised her hand.
"Mii will take care of Ren."
"I-I don't know about that. I think Mii-chan is too loli."
"What's a loli?"
Loli didn't work for Mii. Not only Mii but also Rin is tilting her head.
"Meaning you're too young."
Shizuru rephrased it so that even people in this world could understand.
"But Mii is having an affair with Ren."
"You're kidding, right?"
"I went in an errand with Ren just now, and we're going to sleep together."
"...I see. Ah, together!?"
Shizuru's realization was a little late.
"Why are you coming back without permission?"
Ren was already walking from the entrance carrying a large bag.
"...Sorry to bother you."
Shizuru greeted him with a smile. In her head, she's struggling to figure out how to fake it.
"What's with that greeting?"
"I've been banned from staying here, but I haven't been told not to come and play."
Anyway, Shizuru thought about justifying her being in this place, whether it was quibbles or whatever.
"I haven't even forgiven you."
"It's good. I wanted to come and play."
"To play? ......I see, so that's what you mean."
Ren seemed convinced by Shizuru's words. However, this is not a situation that Shizuru can be happy about. Although she might be pleased.
"No! It's not!"
"You even barged in."
Ren approaches Shizuru, placing the large luggage he brought on the floor.
"Because it's not! Rin-san, yes, I came to see her!"
Shizuru hurriedly offered another excuse.
"Rin?"
"Yes. I can't meet Rin-san, so I hope she's doing well."
"Is that so?"
After hearing Shizuru's explanation, Ren turned his question to Rin.
"Eh, ah, yes, that's right"
Rin also knows what Ren will start if she says it's wrong here. It's hard for Rin to suddenly be talking about it.
"I see. I guess I can't complain then."
"Yes. I came to visit Rin-san."
"Then, go ahead."
"...Why don't you join us too, Ren?"
If she was allowed to be here, she would want to talk to Ren. Shizuru timidly invited Ren over.
"I have something to do"
"I see... what is that luggage?"
She was easily rejected by Ren, but Shizuru didn't stop there. She asks Ren about the luggage she saw.
"The armor I asked for was completed, so I brought it."
"Armor? Why do you need such things?"
"It's necessary, isn't it? Are you asking me to accept subjugation requests without armor?"
"Ah, adventurer... what have you been doing so far?"
Ren has been working for the Adventurer's Guild for a long time. Shizuru still didn't understand why he needed the armor.
"This isn't the commercial product I've been using, it's custom-made. It's a little reward."
"Reward?"
"For the children. They're getting a little better, so I thought I'd replace their armor with something better."
The armor is for the children. It means that the children have grown up enough to need good armor.
"I see."
"You're here to talk to Rin, right?"
"Yes. But I also want to talk to Ren."
"You, by the way..."
It is Shizuru's lie that she came to see Rin. He thought so, and Ren's gaze changed to a stern one.
"No! No, I can't! Not today!"
However, Shizuru misunderstood the meaning of Ren's words.
"……What?"
"Today is a dangerous day."
"What's that?"
"It's a day when it's easy to have a baby."
If it's just Ren, it's fine, but Rin, Luna, and even Mii are here. Shizuru's face turned bright red because she was embarrassed to explain in public.
"...I don't intend to do that right now. But do I need to worry about that?"
"Eh? Is it okay for Ren to have children? Then if that's the case, me too..."
It's not that she doesn't like having a baby. She hates being abandoned by Ren after having a child. If Ren is willing to do so, Shizuru is not so much willing to refuse as she is willing to do so. Of course, there is no such thing.
"No, I can't, right?"
"What is?"
"Going to the end"
"...Cumming. Don't make me say embarrassing things!"
"I am"
"...Eh? You're lying!?"
Trying to recall the past. It certainly wasn't in Shizuru's memory.
"But yeah. I didn't think about it properly, but I can't say that it's absolutely okay. I'll pay attention to it from now on."
"……Yeah"
Shizuru was unable to move while facing Ren. It's not because she's ashamed. The cold gaze she feels on her back is terrifying even if she doesn't turn around.
"You worthless bastard"
Shizuru's back was pierced by an insult that was whispered softly so as not to be heard by Ren.
◇◇◇
"Ren! What are you doing here!?"
A few days after the awkward parting. Shizuru was surprised to find Ren in a place where he was not supposed to be.
"Huh? You called me, right?"
Ren let out a dissatisfied voice at Shizuru's question.
"This is the dormitory of the Luine Kingdom, you know?"
This place used to be the dormitory of the academy, but now it is occupied by the Luine Kingdom.
"This is where you live, isn't it?"
"That's right, but"
"So what do you want?"
"...Before that, what happened to that maid?"
Even as they talked, Shizuru couldn't help but worry about the maid who was sloppily drooping down on Ren's arm.
"It's fine. She's not sick."
"Then what?"
"I was supposed to be shown to your room, but she said she was too weak to walk."
"Yes?"
Shizuru didn't understand the meaning of Ren's explanation. The only thing that bothers her is the words [weak to walk].
"I think I went a little overboard."
"...Is that it? With that maid?"
"Yes, but that's their job"
"Yeah, that's right."
Shizuru also knows what kind of hospitality is given to the boys who come to this place. She had overheard what the boy who had been entertained was happily talking about.
"I haven't done it since the first time. Did I do it properly?"
"Is that why she's in such a state?"
"Well"
"I see……"
Shizuru had no experience in getting to this point. How can it become like this? She's curious even if she doesn't want to know. And for some reason, Ren was sensitive to this kind of reaction.
"Are you envious?"
"Eh... that's not true."
She knew what will happen if she says she was jealous here. She has no choice but to deny it no matter what she really thinks.
"I see. So what is it?"
"Nothing"
"Huh? You called me when you don't have anything to say to me...... I see."
"Huh? No, it's not!"
Shizuru is trying her best to avoid it, but Ren immediately takes the conversation in that direction. He had just had an affair with the maid, so it's still in her head.
"Brace yourself. I can hold out much longer than usual now. I'll keep going at least twice as long."
"……Why?"
"This person says she will never get pregnant. Apparently, there is a way to do that in this world."
"So she did it."
The maid gave pleasure to Ren. Shizuru's jealousy grows in her as she learns that the maid has done something she couldn't do.
"That's right, I'll teach you too. Then you won't have to think about unnecessary things."
"......I might do that."
Jealousy is making Shizuru's thoughts crazy.
"Yes. Shall we go?"
"Where?"
"Isn't a bathroom good?"
"Um... not in the dormitory"
In the dormitory, there are eyes of the servants of the Luine Kingdom all over the place. It is too embarrassing to do things with Ren in such a place.
"Eh? Then, outside?"
"Outside is a bit..."
There are more eyes outside. Or rather, it's scary to think about what kind of place Ren talks about.
"I understand. Then, let's do it in the library as usual."
"Ah, then"
Shizuru already felt no resistance to the act in the library.
"But do you mind doing it after her?"
"...I don't care."
On the contrary, she wants to erase the maid's scent from Ren. Shizuru thinks that she wants to repaint him. But Ren's words don't mean that.
"This maid was amazing. Compared to that... well, I don't mind."
This is the result of a high-class prostitute at the mercy of Ren, who bets all the skills she has on her pride. It is a different order of magnitude from the pleasure one can get from an ordinary woman.
"I-I won't lose either. I'm sure Ren will think I'm better than her."
Shizuru's rivalry with a high-class prostitute is unmistakable. Does she know what it means to be competitive? Shizuru's mind as a harem member was solidified on her own, in a way that no one intended.
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