Ayako Side: The True Feelings are......
I couldn't leave my room that day.
What Fran-sama looked like last night, what she did, the changes in my own body, what Fran-sama said...
Everything is stirring inside me. And my thoughts don't come together, just a vague feeling inside me.
And today as well, I was brought to Light-dono's room by Fran-sama.
Today I was shown the actions of Lida-dono and Ginko-dono. Unlike usual, Lida-dono was being pampered by Light-dono, and Ginko-dono was acting as if she was pampering Light-dono.
Unlike yesterday, I didn't feel disgusted for some reason. On the contrary, what Fran-sama said made sense to me.
I was beginning to understand that exposing one's desires, that Light-dono was the one who would accept them, and that it was a noble act.
However, I still couldn't understand what the aching in me was.
I realized that the way to suppress the aching was to do what Fran-sama was doing next to me. Fran-sama watched them act for a while, and then she put her hand on her thigh and rubbed her private part. Fran-sama seemed to be feeling good while letting out a small gasp.
I see... I guess by doing that she's experiencing a pseudo s*x...
In other words, does my aching mean that I'm looking for s*x...?
I shake that thought away. I wouldn't do something like that! Even if it's Fran-sama's lover! Besides, as a knight, I can't expose myself to such an unseemly appearance!
Somehow I managed to hold myself together and the day ended.
The next day, Maria-dono and Rain-dono, the parent and child...
No way... I felt that the sense of ethics I had cultivated up until now was collapsing. However, the parent and child in question cling to Light-dono like ants swarming around sweet honey.
But strangely, it didn't seem like the parent and child did not look as if they were merely seeking their own desires. They were communicating with each other as if they were loving and caring for their family.
And I felt the light magic so dense that I had the illusion that this family had truly become one. The mana was warm and gentle, like sunlight.
Therefore, I began to think that the scene I was currently seeing was a divine ritual. Fran-sama probably thought the same way.
But I...
I won't be fooled! There is no change in the fact that he is doing a shameless act with his family, leaving Fran-sama alone!
I say this over and over again to protect myself.
I won't be fooled! I won't be fooled! I won't be fooled!
I repeated denial and rejection over and over again, trying to suppress my own aching.
And today, Shamu-dono and Silk-dono were there. When Shamu-dono revealed that she was a succubus, her appearance changed to that of the beautiful woman I had previously seen at Light-dono's shop in the royal capital.
"Ayako, the s*x between me and Light-sama gives off a lust that a normal person cannot bear. I won't say anything bad about it, so it would be easier for you to be held by Light-sama."
Shamu-dono advised me so.
Will I be held by Light-dono? Don't joke around! I would never do that!
I couldn't say anything, so all I could do was glare at Shamu-dono.
Meanwhile, Shamu-dono and Light-dono started the act. Then, a sweet scent began to fill the room, and my body began to heat up, as if I were intoxicated.
And the aching in my body increased. My heart beats faster and the aching intensifies. I slumped down to the point where I could no longer stand.
As I slumped in place, the stain slowly spread on the floor. That was enough to make me realize what I was leaking.
What... this aching... my heart... it's getting more and more naughty...
I want it too... no, no! No! No! Such a shameless thing... a shameless thing... a shameless thing...
Just as my consciousness became hazy and I felt like I could no longer maintain my sense of self, I unconsciously let out the words to deny everything.
"Kuh... kill me..."
I'm a knight! I would rather die than commit the act with someone Fran-sama loves! And I...
I don't want to be held by that man...
I don't want to be embraced by that man who somehow resembles my father...
At that time, Fran-sama suddenly took my lips and began to grope my body.
At that moment, I felt something penetrate my body. This is... what is it... this area that is being touched feels good... it feels good to be stimulated... is this what you call pleasure...?
I almost surrendered to it, but I managed to stop myself and pull away from Fran-sama's lips.
"W-what are you doing!?"
I desperately raised my voice of protest to Fran-sama.
"Ayako...... enough of your stubbornness. You are a woman. As a woman, it's only natural for you to think of it. You yourself don't seem to be aware of it, so I will answer you! Ayako, your feelings are jealousy. You are only jealous of the women around Light-san because you have already fallen in love with him. You just cover it up with common sense, reason, and knightly pride. It's okay! It's okay to be honest. If you want to be loved, if you want to live as a woman, be honest."
As a woman... I love Light-dono...?
When I think about this, my body suddenly becomes hot, my heart beats faster, and my chest tightens.
Do I love Light-dono?
Those words sounded like a blow to my head.
I can't speak... Maybe this is natural, not hypnosis. I can't put it into words because I don't have any answers.
"Ojou-sama... I don't understand... that I love that shameless man..."
Then I realized... that I am not [Hypnotized] right now......
"You noticed. The [Hypnosis] has been lifted since the first night. Other than that, it was your unconscious mind that made you do it. I'm really amazed at your assumptions and stubbornness..."
Saying that, Fran-sama let out a sigh. So until now I...
I gently reach out to the place where it ached. Then I was able to touch it easily.
"Ayako... let Light-san calm down that aching. Then you will realize your true feelings."
Saying that, Fran-sama invited me to the bed where Light-dono was.
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